Compromise

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 Compromise


Loving you scares the shit out of me. 

I see you online and available and I 

turn away. I run. I get scared. Meanwhile

daydreaming all day about how and what

I would say to you. Having a really 

Beautiful relationship in my head. My 

heart being held by myself the entire time, 

because I am the only one there. 


Yet there are times, many, most times, when

in the light of my though that I can't

have you, or I won't go and get you, 

or the fact that I am doing all this

in my head. I make myself believe that 

you are telepathic and so am 

I, and that it is actually you, 

whose presence I feel. 


So comforting, Like Jesus was to me for many

Years. I don't want a secret lover. I want

my love, a present love, a serious

and fun love. A bright

and full love. 

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