Rachel Michelle

 My Boyfriend Has a Date Go on, go on your date.  I'll be here and masturbate.  Smoke a joint, decompress,  try hard not to obsess.  Jealousy, why her and also me?  Why both? What do you see?  How does she make you feel? Something Special? Or do you admire her, too?  Just like me, she's important to you?  Okay, maybe you don't need me then at all. I can just go.  I am free to after-all. 

 Heart Break Too little too late. Or better late than never.  or who the fuck knows. It's all a mystery.  It's all progress. Forward moving, backward  sliding, along the slopes and loops that  is the twirling, swirling cream sickle  of this universal experience. 

  Nerves  Whoa, hey, hey there, hey.  Raging, waves of intenseness spray and crash onto the insides of my stomach. My heart the boat on top. My lungs  the sails. Turbulent seas.  Uncertain weather.  What else is there to do but surrender to the unknown adventure of vulnerability. Heart open, intuitions' ears peaked for all that is there  to be known. Fear, mmmm, nervous energy.  Can I trust you, she asks.  Can I hold my heart through these storms. Or will your words puncture my vessel  and sink my to the depths? 

 Planes, Castles.... old dead Royalty I love quiet morning time to really dive into my solo-depresso-emo self.  My kids are singing and being loud and I am feeling it all intrusive to my peace.  What I want is for everyone to shut the Fuck up! Give me a blowjob and a million dollars.  Put me on a tropical beach. Let someone else I trust, take the kids to school. Let me read,  cook, dream and expand into my me-ness.  Soaking in the sun, the sounds of birds and waves only. Wind swaying the trees.