Starting Point

Starting Point    

Every day, I find myself in a loop of sorts. And typically, I notice something that is making me feel uncomfortable. Could be the work I am doing. Could be an ache in my body, maybe it happens when I move my body for work things. And so I make the immediate conclusion that I need to find a better job. And then I start to wonder how I could make more money and not sacrifice my body for it. That's a bit extreme, but ultimately it is not. I want to be healthy and strong. And have fun. And I realize that life is seemingly flying along. I was a child yesterday, and am already a little less than halfway through the traditional trajectory of human existence. Woof. 

At this point in my thought pattern, I begin to scramble for fun thoughts I can have. Usually, plans for some movement do the trick. I'll stop what I am doing and do a handstand. Or sit and breathe. Put the tool down and get a drink or have a snack. I have learned to not add criticism to this process. To just let myself give my body what it needs. Even if that means that I don't work the whole time, I am getting paid. Or if it means I am not a robot. I am cool with that. It does at times, maybe even many times, if I am honest, feel like I am wasting time by even trying to find work. It doesn't come to me in conventional ways. 

I am a manifesting generator human design type. My method in this world is to respond. That includes lots of waiting. While I am waiting and taking action in response to the flow of life towards me, I also have to contend with other people's ideas and fears for me. I have gotten better at managing this as well. More of me stepping energetically into a slipper love bubble and letting everyone else's words and projections just slide right off. 

Thanks for listening to my esoteric rambles. 

I am already a bit bored with them. I feel the antsy coming on in my body. The same loop is attempting. But today I cannot go and handstand. But I can go get a snack :) 

Until next time.